37)

This one is going to start out a little...well a lot sad, and then you will probably start yelling at me to pull my head out of my ass.  I'm going to go ahead and tell you to brace yourselves now...it isn't going to happen, so try to keep it down or the neighbors are going to get upset.

Alrighty, so the sad news is that my wonderful boss lost her baby the other day.  She was due in about four months, but last week she started leaking amniotic fluid and the doctors put her on bed rest.  Here's the thing about my dearest Kimmy-kins...her+bed rest=lots and lots of stress because she hates being stagnant. Well, the thing about the baby-making process is that stress isn't such a great thing.  Unfortunately, she started bleeding the other day and the doctors sent her home because there was nothing they could do, but then she started bleeding the next day again.  She sent us a text that said "I'm in labor now it's too soon for the baby to survive."  What do you say to that?!  I wanted to just cry for her.  She just started getting excited about this baby and then he was taken from her four months before she ever got to see him.  I'm sure it would have been so much more difficult for her if he had been carried to full term only for her to loose him then.  Now she says she is coming back to work next week and we are all super concerned.  I mean, I get it, she probably doesn't want to be left alone with her thoughts for too long and work will definitely take her mind off that.  However, she JUST lost a baby and I can't help to think that she isn't dealing with things that she needs to deal with.  I wish there were some way to help her, but I know there is nothing I can say that will take the pain away.  We have decided to just try and make work the best place in the world for her and we are going to try and make sure she knows we would do just about anything for her.

So that was the sad news.  I know, I want to cry too and it has nothing to do with the alcohol I am currently consuming.  Now onto the part that requires surgery that would remove my head from my ass.  Guess what the subject is.  Andrew?  How did you know?!  I'm that obvious?  How pathetic.  Aaaaannnndddd....I'm over it.  Yup, you guessed, I still love everything about him.  I have no idea if he's still dating that girl, but honestly, the mood I'm in right now, I just don't give a shit.  I would still screw him and say come what may.  All I am actually asking for here is just a kiss.  I really don't think that's too much to ask for.  I mean seriously, he smiles at me and I MELT like ice cream on the summer sidewalk.  He just keeps looking at me like he wants to slam me up against a wall and have his way with me, which, for the record, I am beyond ok with.  At his sister's bridal shower this last Saturday, I was basically holding a baby the entire time and he kept staring at me with a smile or strange look on his face.  If ever there were a time for those telepathic powers to kick in, that was it, but no.  I am left with far too much to ponder and way too much time in which to do so.  I  don't know if he still has as strong of feelings for me as I do him, but that is the question I really, REALLY want answered.  Of course, I still love him very much.  Most of my spare time and dreams/fantasies are about him, which just goes to show how incredibly pathetic I really am.  I can't stop thinking about him.  I try so hard and it never works.  I know I promised to keep him out of my thoughts and dreams, but we all knew I would be a big fatty failure face on that one.  I had to drop off a movie for Adam tonight so he could copy it and I just kept hoping that I would get to see Andrew all damn day.  Its really gross, but I just can't help it.  How do you fall out of love when you don't even know how you fell in love in the first place?! Am i just doomed to dream about him until the day I die?  I think that would be WILDLY unfair....  Tonight, I did a freaking happy dance just because his car was outside his house when I got there.  Then he started messing with me and I swear, I almost shat myself, I was so happy.  Yes, shitting yourself, is now a sign of true love...take notes.  I don't think I want to lose this feeling.  It's too amazing.  It keeps me smiling like and idiot even if it drives me batshit crazy...the good far outweighs the bad here.  I just want a taste...just one...unless that isn't enough, then I will probably get super greedy, but let's cross that bridge if we ever get to it--please let me get to it.

In news that will probably be music to your ears...well eyes.  I am going to start seeing a therapist.  I think it will be good for me if only to talk to someone who is totally unbiased.  I know I need help keeping my emotions in check because I can't keep having these crazy ass mood swings.  I feel like maybe if I just talk to some random third party about every thing that is bouncing around in my brain maybe it won't make me feel so freaking bonkers.  I know this is a long shot, but it is way better than sitting about with my thumb up my bum--yeah I went Canadian on you there, eh.

Other than that stuff, my life is actually pretty boring....Oh!  I did get into ASU for this upcoming Fall, so that is super exciting.  I just have to call them to make sure because I haven't gotten my letter yet and that is FREAKING me out.  Just another thing to go over with certified specialist with.  Not that this doesn't help, but let's face it, you kids are not here to actually help.  You are here because some of the shit that you read is somewhat amusing.  Don't worry, I won't quit my day job just yet....  This is the only place I can spew and not care if you guys judge me.  I am fully aware that it is very likely happening as I type this, but I have no proof and that keeps me happy.

Your true blonde,
K

36

WARNING: This post is going to start with a total over-share.  If that make you uncomfortable...you've probably been feeling that way for a while now and should be used to it so keep reading anyway.  Conflict, even interior conflict, build character.  That's right, I'm telling you to go out there and get in people's faces when they piss you off and don't back down.

Anyways...I just though I'd mention how different this period has been for me, in an unsettling way.  Normally, my emotions aren't in the shitter all the frelling time when the red tide's-a-runnin', but this time, it's like I'm on downers with anger issues the entire time.  I quite literally had to stop myself from punching one of the girls at work last night.  I was THIS close--ok you can't see, but my fingers are super close together over here.  Keep in mind, I already don't like this girl, but I love my job and pretty much everything about it, but yesterday, I wanted to break down and cry.  That's exactly what I did do when I was talking to my parents about it when I finally got home last night.  My mother made me take a super hot bath with music and lots of wine so I would calm down.

Also, my plethora of romance novels I've been reading lately are actually starting to make me feel better about my whole being a virgin thing.  However, the one I just finished reading made me a little scared to finally have sex.  The heroine--that's right, she's my hero in all these books, take it--got pregnant after having sex once when she'd waited until she was 26 to finally give it up.  I mean really...what's that about.  So not fair. Breath, yes I know these are fictional characters, but I know this happens.  It's not like they didn't used a fictional condom in they're fictional sex-fest--I'm making it sound way more juicy than it actually was.  Note: do not fall asleep with a guy still inside you even if he has a condom...my book says you're gonna get knocked up.

In related news...I'm slipping a little on the Andrew front. It's not on purpose!  The other week I was having a bad day and that's generally when I want to see him anyway because for some asinine reason he makes me feel better just by being there.  Don't ask me why, but he does..he's my tranquilizer and I really, REALLY needed it that day.  I was out driving--I don't even remember where too--and it took everything I had in me not to go to his house hoping he was there and just launch myself into his arms as if his holding me would solve all my problems when we all know it would only create more than I have time to deal with.  However, this seemed like a super awesome plan in my hormone addled brain at the time.  Don't worry, I resisted.  Since then, it's gotten a little better, but I still want to see him.  I really need closure and I really, REALLY need people to stop saying that the whole he avoids all contact, physical or otherwise, one visit and the next he make an effort to talk to me and smile and make eye contact means that he still has feelings for me.  I'll tell you what, if someone, and I really don't care who it is at this point, can tell me without a doubt that he still loves me and wants me, I will go straight to his house and plant a big kiss on him immediately following that revelation.  I am still trying to make a conscious effort to keep him out of my brain, but there are times when i just can't seem to win and he is always there--not physically, of course, but mentally the bastard won't leave me alone.  I know I can't actually blame Andrew for my brain/heart's reluctance to let him go, but it's not like I want to take the responsibility.  I have accepted that I will forever love him and that he will forever hold a piece of me, but I have also tried to accept that I need to move on and let him go with whatever piece of me he unknowingly holds.  I also know that should he ever read the words in these posts about him, I might just expire on the spot as though someone shot me point blank, but part of me really kinda hopes he does one day...preferably when I'm on another continent...

Why can't life be like the movies?  Most people get a happy ending one way or the other unless you're watching those independent films...or foreign films.  Other countries have it right when they make their films.  They aren't concerned with coddling the population.  They tell it like it is.  There are no happy endings in life.  That wouldn't be life.  The only people who actually have a good go of it are the liars and cheats and you have to figure they are dealing with some major stress trying to keep all their stories straight and worrying about what's going to happen next.  News flash: THERE ARE NO HAPPY ENDINGS, KIDS.  SUCK IT UP AND MOVE THE HELL ON.  Just put one foot in front of the other and eventually you can just call it a day.

Cynical in Scottsdale,
K

35)

Ok, here's the thing about me you have probably already gathered, but I'm gonna tell you anyway...I constantly make bad life decisions and then feel little to no remorse about them.  In fact, even as I am typing this, I am making one and I can't seem to convince myself to stop.  This may warrant some serious psychological help...

What is my current bad choice you ask?  Well, do you remember Matt from Tucson?  Yeah, that's the one.  I was struck by a wild hair while doing my homework this evening and texted him. Now we are talking...well, flirting, and I really don't want to stop.  Now, before you say anything (!) he is 1) not an Andrew wanna-be and 2) I am a little lonely and in need of a good flirt...he takes care of that.  Plus, he's not seeing anyone and is more than willing to let go of our less than pleasant non-break-up.  I am trying to convince him to give me his dog...so cute.  He is a nice guy and, honestly, I miss him.  Not in a "I just miss flirting" kind of way, but I actually miss him.  He was always so nice and funny and sweet and I miss that.  Plus he's super fun.

Anyways...let's go ahead and move on from my likely, very serious lapse in judgement.  I went to Flagstaff this past Sunday with Caylin and all five dogs to frolic in the snow and do the fat girl's version of a hike which basically consists of romping through a meadow with mostly even surface.  There was still some snow up there though, so Caylin and I had a snowball fight.  Carina, her boxer mix, and Maddie, my golden retriever, thought we were playing ball and kept trying to catch it.  It was so cute.  Bubba, Caylin's pit bull mix, only had a few spurts of craziness in which he ran around playing with the other pups who were only too happy to chase him about.  Bonnie, her red doberman mix, was a titch of a trouble maker.  She kept wandering off, just so pleased that she was off her leash and felt entitled to not pay attention.  Lulu, my great dane, she was so freaking cute!  She just kept wandering around, eager to play and explore, but always came right on back when we called her to us.

Bonnie and Lulu got a bit distracted...

Today was an interesting day at work.  I got to the parking lot and decided I really didn't want to be there and neither did the girl I was closing with.  Considering I didn't have to make much as far sales today, I decided I was going to do a bunch of tasking stuff in preparation for our visit from some of the head honchos on Tuesday and let the other girls make their sales with the limited customers we had today.  Apparently, tasking-Kerstin looks like an angry Kerstin and the girls were all super concerned about me.  Boss lady, Kim, kept asking them if they had done something to upset me, which none of them had because I wasn't upset.  Debbie, came up and asked if she had upset me in some way because Kim had asked her.  Katie kept randomly telling me she loved me. Devin thought it was best just to stay out of my way.  Kim kept asking me if I was alright.  She was so cute!  When she came back from her lunch she brought me three little cake-on-a-stick thingys with the sweetest note on top...

See...isn't she the sweetest?!

I love my job and I am pretty darn happy with my life and my new bad decision...not gonna lie.  He's trying to get his Skype to play nice with mine and is failing epically, but is getting his roommate's girlfriend to help him.  I'm sorry, but that is freaking adorable, so I can't really think this is too horrible of an idea.  Eh, I like the guy, so sue me.

Not really, I'm broke...so please don't.  Feel free to scold me in the comments section though...

Loves,
K

PS: Aren't you proud I figured out the whole picture thing?!!!!

34

Strange emotions have been flitting through my mind for the few days.  It's like its snowing feelings in my brain and they are congregating together on the ground in there melting into one giant, nameless thing I can't control.  Yes, I realize this all sounds like an application to a psych ward, but I swear...I'm just being a titch melodramatic because...well...I can.  It's a power thing. What can I say?

Anyway, my emotions really have been all over the place lately...could be just because I'm a girl and Mother Nature HATES me right now, but that's just too easy.  For instance, my sister and I were just having a somewhat pleasant conversation about the follies and craziness of our parent's relationship when there was a slight break and I thought I would make her happy about telling her about my New Year's Resolution.  Did my wonderful news have the desired effect?  Not in the least.  She basically dismissed me out of hand and left.  What was my reaction?  Well let me tell you it wasn't to go give her a hug.  I wanted to 1) bitch her out for being a heartless ass hole, 2) punch her in her cute little button nose (which I am totally jealous of, by the way) and 3) cry because my sister wasn't going to support me which, let's face it, was all I was actually looking for here.  I just wanted for once in my life for my big sister who I have basically idolized my entire life to say, "that is a great idea, Kerstin.  I'm sure you'll be much happier now."  What did I get? "You've been saying this for years, Kerstin.  It's not going to happen now."  You want to hit her too?!  Weird...  I get that I have been saying that I want to get over Andrew for years now, but I have never actually decided to do it because I was still holding onto the crazy prayer that we would be together and life would be just swell.  Lucky for me (and the rest of the sane world), I have since come to my senses and realized a happily ever after that involves Andrew and I ending up together is not in the cards...ever.  I just don't understand why my sister can't support my efforts.  This is the first time I have ever actually WANTED to get over Andrew, and I'm going to do it too...it's already working because I don't think of him every day like I used to and when I catch myself doing it, I put the kibosh on that but quick.  So yippee for me!!!

That is what has been making me happy these days...the whole PLAN succeeding finally.  Next, I just need to start dating, which is something my girls at work are more that happy to help me with.  I'm fairly certain, they are compiling lists of eligible men for me.  Ahh...it's good to be so loved. :-)

In other happy news, I am reading a whole big bunch of Susan Andersen romance novels and they make me incredibly happy.  At the same time, they make me feel like a silly, stupid grade-school girl.  For example, in the latest read, Coming Undone, the bad guy threatens to cut the heroine's hair and I just about tried to jump through the pages to save them....  Yeah, it was pathetic, I'll admit it, but the guy is crazy and totally untrained so it's not as though he was planning on giving her a flattering graduated bob or anything....  He was going to HACK her hair off.  All I was thinking was that I would all kinds of Amazon Warrior Goddess on anyone who tried to hack my hair off to teach me a lesson and that's exactly what I wanted to do to the fictional character I was reading about.  It's ok, feel free to judge...I know I deserve it.  Also, when same creepy bad guy sent the heroine a snake in a box, I tossed my nook to the furthest edge of my bed as if the snake would slither its icky, ICKY, ICKY body from the digital pages.  Pathetic, I know, but I accept that I am not the most rational person in the world when it comes to my books.  I am the type of girl who gets mesmerized by the story and forgets that while I may be reading about snow and frolicking deer in my book...it's actually 110 degrees outside and the nearest wildlife is the feral cat outside the office's back door.

Well, if you'll please excuse me, I need to keep reading to see if the heroine saves her hair. (Yes, I stopped reading to post this...again, I deserve the judging...bring it on.)

Yours always,
The snow-drift emotional K

33)

I realized the other day that I had yet to make a New Year's resolution and I feel that was rather poor form of me.  Guess what it is.  Go on, I dare you...guess.  No...? Fine, you're no fun.  I had a realization the other day that while I will always carry him in my heart and a part of me will forever love him, I need to take the rose-colored glasses off and realize that Andrew really wasn't that awesome of a guy.  Sure he was a super long-distance boyfriend, but in the years that we spent together before that, I refused to see that we just weren't compatible.  His life is going in such a different direction than mine.  I want to be happy again and I want to find love again.  Both of these things cannot be accomplished if I keep him in the forefront of my brain for the rest of my life.  I need to stop wondering what he feels about me, if he thinks of me, if he misses me, or if he even wants to see me ever again.  If I am ever going to dig myself out of the ditch I dug for myself over the course of the past three years...that's right it's been three years, stop judging...I have to focus on my future and that is a future that WILL NOT feature him.  This is really just a long-winded way of saying that my resolution is to get over Andrew and I'll be damned if I fail.  My plan for doing so?

1. I will no longer mention him in my posts unless he is crucial to whatever story I am attempting to convey.
2. I will no longer try to find out anything about his personal life (i.e. if he is dating someone.)
3. I will actively not think about him a little more each day until it become a passive function.
4. I will date other people and put myself out there because, let's face it, I'm 23 and I girls gotta have her fun sometime.
5. I will not compare any man I date to Andrew.
6. I will not date "replacement" Andrews. (i.e. guys who remind me of Andrew or remind my friends of Andrew if I am choosing to be blind to the fact.)

Let us all hope this actually works out and I find happiness within myself.  On that note...I WANT TO GO BACK TO EUROPE NOW!!!!!  I have a client at work who is going to Europe with her husband in a few weeks and she got me talking about all the places she needs to see and all the food she needs to eat and it makes me miss it so incredibly much!!  I have decided that I am going to start saving up money and I will do a study abroad in Ireland within the next two years.  This means I need to get my finances under control and that is a bit of a daunting task.  I need to fix my credit, get out of debt, or at least get it down to a manageable figure, and I need to start budgeting.  My new position at work is making this a titch easier because I did end up getting a slight raise and I have more hours per week!  Other than the recent rise in office drama that will hopefully wind down prior to my going crazy all over my co-workers, I am still completely enamored with my job. Today I had two clients come in just to say "hi" to me.  It's times like that that make me realize how lucky I am to be in a position to get women who may be having a horrible day when they sit down in my chair and be able to turn that day around with a lot of fun conversation and a jaunt through the lovely world of cosmetics.

I have started my absolute final semester at SCC and boy has it kicked off with a BANG.  Second day of my Philosophy of Sex class with Dr. Pervy-Old-Man, the professor decided to tell the class that he once thought it would be a dandy idea to have sex with the family dog at age thirteen and that he has gone to a slew of therapists throughout his life--whether or not the two events are related was not clarified, but I'm thinking the former was brought up during the latter.  I cannot even begin to explain how uncomfortable that made me.  I realize the purpose of this class is to get people to think, but that sure-as-hell wasn't an image I needed implanting itself in my subconscious.

Genny comes home for a couple of days on Wednesday so we can go see the midnight showing of "One for the Money" and, yes I do realize how very lame that makes us, but we LOVE these books.  Janet Evanovich is our favorite author and I really need her to find the elixir to life so she can at least live long enough that I don't go without reading material before my eyes fall out of my head.  Also, I am unacceptable excited about the Girl Scout cookies I ordered from the adorable little girl that came to my door.  Num, num!!  What can I say, I'm a fatty on the inside.  Speaking of, I have decided that I really need to get back into shape.  I want to be able to run for more than ten seconds and not feel like I'm sucking up a lung with each breath.  Sad as it may be, I think that will also help with my self-confidence.  I know I should be happy in my own skin, no matter how much there is of it, but I find those days to be fewer and farther in between and that is NOT ok.  So, it's high time I do something about it instead of wishing and hoping the weight just randomly decides its tired of my company and leaves of it's own doing.  I had a membership to a gym...I went once and I had it since September...pathetic, I know.

As, you can probably tell, I am in a no-holds-barred, kick-my-own-ass-into-shape-and-not-just-physically-speaking kind of mood.  It's going to work this time.  I am going to make myself a schedule.  I am going to take the dogs for a walk every day until I can start running with them.  I am going to work out on that infernal contraption in our garage. I am going to put myself on a budget. I am going to stick to my guns.  And finally, I sure as hell am going to get over Andrew and start dating again.

Yours,
The new self-improvement Barbie (aka Kerstin)

32

Happy New Year, babies!!  It is the second day of the new year and I'm hoping its going just dandy for the rest of you.  I have been sick for the last three days and that means I'm being super, SUPER whiny and needy...its good times for all involved.

Well, it's been settled.  I am going to go to ASU in the Fall...I would be going this semester, but the jerkfaces want my UA transcripts and I  keep trying to tell them they really, REALLY don't but they just won't listen.  I feel they are being stubborn and they are probably thinking the same thing about me.  I sent them my SCC transcripts...that should really be enough, but NOOOOOOO...they are being snarky.  However, they are not being snarky to my sister.  CAYLIN IS GOING TO ASU THIS SEMESTER!!!!!  I am so incredibly proud of her!! (Note: there is no sarcasm intended in that statement at all.)

In other news, I love my job and as soon as my background check clears, I get to be a Key Holder again!  I am so excited!  That means that I'll be getting more hours at least on a regular basis.  I have missed being a Key since I left Tucson and now I get to be one again.  I swear if this falls through, I may just go on a frelling rampage!  It probably won't mean that I get a raise, but I think I can deal with that considering I'm already one of the highest paid associates in the store because of Tucson.  I feel bad for my boss lady though.  She is going through so much right now that she really doesn't deserve.  She has no energy and no attention span with which to deal with anything that she has to at work.  I have been trying to help as much as possible, but until I have full access to the computer there is only so much I can do.  I am, as she calls me, the Visual Diva so I am in charge of keeping everything to schematic in the store and in the back room.  As a matter of fact, the new district manager gave me the chore to organize the back room and label everything so it has a specific place to live and everyone knows where that place is.  The only problem with that, is that she wants it done by the fifth and I have a floor set to do on Wednesday...the fourth, so when am I supposed to get this done?  I'm a touch stressed about it.

Other than that, I am a touch sad about my bestie ditching me for Mickey Mouse for eight months a WEEK FROM TOMORROW.  We haven't even had our Christmas together yet.  I need to get a few good pictures of her and I together so that I can make her her going away present.  The plan is to get her either one "friends" frame or a few of them and put our pictures in it so she can have them in her room.  And of course, I'll get her one of our favorite cards because that's just what we do.  I am going to miss her like a crazy person, but I'll be going over there for the weekend at the end of January so that'll be nice.

Other than that, Andrew is acting like he used to around me now and can actually smile at me and maintain eye contact and will voluntarily be in the same room with me now.  The only downside to this plan is that I fall for him all over again when he smiles at me...its dangerous.  I am trying to avoid Adam because he is just irritating me these days and I don't want to encourage him into thinking we are back to what we were because we NEVER will be.  He thinks he knows me and he truly doesn't.  He tries likes to tell me about Andrew just to see my reaction and he thinks he knows how I feel about it, but he definitely doesn't and he only pisses me off.

Other than that, I am reading a bunch of romance novels before bed and just got finished watching a chick flick so now I've decided that I want to marry an Irish guy and live happily ever after.

Hopefully, everything starts leaning more toward the happy side here within the next few weeks.
Loves and hopeful happiness,
K, the ever-sprightly. <3

31)

Alright kiddos, I promise I will try not to make this post a downer like the last one was.  Yikes...that was a touch needy, I know.

So basically I am super concerned about my best friend, Genny.  She has been uber down for the past few weeks.  I know she would never even consider suicide or anything like that, but still, my best-friend-spidey-senses aren't liking her current routine.  She doesn't talk much, she isn't as exuberant as she used to be, and every time she lets her guard down just for a second, its painfully obvious how miserable she is.  Spend five minutes with her these days and you'll want to jump off the nearest building too.  I know exactly what her problems are too, but they aren't anything I can fix.  She is moving to California in January for eight months.  Ever since she found out she got this internship, she's been in a super depressed fog and I can't get her out of it.  I know its not just because of the move that she's down.  She went out on a date with this guy from one of her classes and that only made her downer mode PLUMMET.  Its not like she didn't have a good time with the guy.  They made good conversation and had fun, but she's being all kinds of Debbie-downer and can't just let it be.  She actually said "he's too much of a good boy" and then she told me that he drinks too much so obviously he's not that much of a good boy...

Here's the thing with Genny, she likes to blame everything on Andrew--yes, my ex is also her ex, but she forced us together so its not weird for us.  I can understand why she wants to blame everything on him but she's wrong.  I knew her before she and Andrew had their little thing and she was always like this.  The girl, though I love her tremendously, has less than no self-esteem.  She thinks that because she let Andrew get past second base in a moment of weakness on Prom Night Junior Year (yeah, its capitalized...its just that infamous), that she can blame her ineptitude on him.  (Yes, I am jealous that she got further with him than I did...base-wise, there.  Curiosity quenched?)  She wants to blame everything on him because then she doesn't have to look to herself to point the fingers.  I have told her time and time again that she can't keep blaming him because it isn't his fault.  Yes, he treated her like SHIT.  Yes, he treated me like his girlfriend while he was dating her, which makes him an asshole.  Yes, he barely talked to her, especially when I was around and that makes him a bigger asshole.

However, she didn't stand up for herself.  She didn't tell him to knock the shit off or she'd beat that hell out of him.  She let him get away with everything.  She had the control that night.  She didn't have to fool around with him that night--which, by the way, nearly killed me when they went back to his room.  I don't think she has accepted why she let him do it.  I know why, because I know her better than she knows herself it would seem.  She did it because she thought it meant that she was worth something, but she wasn't taking into account that Andrew just wanted to get laid and he really didn't care who with.  I hate to be cynical about the man I love, but that guy would have done just about anything for sex or anything even close to sex and quite frankly, every time I think about he and Genny fooling around, I just get mad and hurt and my heart hurts all over again because I didn't even get a fucking kiss...sorry....  Anyways....  She is my best friend in the entire world and I can't keep seeing her go down this same road over and over again.  She keeps dating assholes because they aren't concerned with boosting her self esteem and she thinks she deserves that shitty treatment, which is complete BULLSHIT.

So now, I am on a mission.
Mission name: Fix Team Genny.
Time frame: before she leaves for California.
Plan: unknown, but possibly includes taking her up to the woods and chaining her to a tree till she knocks this shit off.
Mission statement:  Gennifer Frost, best friend of team leader, is broken and moving away from all person who can help her realize how wonderful she truly is.  She is broken because she cannot accept the truth of both her past and her reality.  We cannot send her off onto the unknowing and unprepared Disneyland in January without rectifying the situation.  While we know that she will get over the depression of moving away for eight months, she won't get over the bad self-esteem and the bad relationships.  We MUST do something about this!
Other important information: We are currently accepting volunteers.  Please apply.

Over and out,
Team Leader K