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So....yeah it's been awhile.  I'm sorry.  That's my bad.  It's been about...oh snap...it's been seven months since my last post.  I am such a wretched blogger.  I have quite a few little updates for you, my loves.  Be excited.  Are you waiting breathlessly?  No?  I can't blame you with my current track record.

Firstly, I have officially gotten closure with the saga that was Andrew.  It's exciting. As previously mentioned, though admittedly seven months ago, best friend gave me until the end of October to tell Andrew how I feel about him.  I did.  The shorthand version of that conversation was basically, me telling him I love him and have for years, him telling me he's over it and then the conversation ending.  Post conversation--which was over text message because he was a chicken and refused to call/answer my calls--I had a mini-mental breakdown.  I had an actual panic attack in which I could not move.  I wanted to get off my bed, but I couldn't move my arms or legs.  I couldn't even catch my breath.  It felt like hours had gone by in this state, when it was likely less than a minute, but I thought I was actually going to die.  It was terrifying and I do not suggest having such a breakdown if you can ever get the option to.  After that, I cried for about twenty minute jags.  However, this was followed by a sense of calm over the following few days after I cried about it to my father.  Daddy's advice is to wait until I'm 27 and then find a guy because that is when they start to grow up. 

Another adventure in dating is the second topic for discussion.  Ben.  He and I started dating in the beginning of January.  It went fairly well.  The problem...we were not at all compatible.  He was an alright kisser, and it made me feel good when he would act like an idiot after I kissed him.  We had fun when we went out, however...I had a few issues with some of the things he stood for.  My problems included, but were not limited to, his family values--he didn't value his as much as I value mine--he didn't like kids and I love them, no matter if he'd been sworn to secrecy, he would still tell me anything and he would give me crap about not telling him everything when I said I would never tell.  I am, or was yesterday at least, upset with him because he decided to break up with me in a facebook message.  I'll upload it tomorrow.  It'll be a good read.  I know I wasn't really as into him as I thought because as I read his message, I was checking the thing for spelling and grammar problems and I was irritated with the blatant abuse of ellipses.  One thing I will forever be grateful to him for helping me realize that I am also not compatible with Andrew.  I do find it rather interesting that I am just as happy without Ben as I was with him, which is causing concern in those around me.  I seemed to be falling for Ben, but evidently, that wasn't the case.  It feels a little weird not to be texting with him all day every day, but I figure, that is to be expected considering we had three months of it.  he still wants to be friends and I am thinking that is fine with me, but I'm not entirely sure as of yet.  The basic premise of his breakup message was that I was too smart for him--which is true--and that he wasn't entirely thrilled with the fact that I was a virgin and basically he was too horny to wait for me to be comfortable.  My thing is that had he just come down to Tucson, I wouldn't still be a virgin.  Oh well, I'm actually happy now and pretty much every one, ok take out the "pretty much", agrees that he was an idiot to break up via facebook.

Anyways....  This is my last semester at UA.  I am moving back home hopefully as soon as it's over.  I am crossing my fingers that I will simply be able to transfer to the BE in Scottsdale because I love my job.  Tucson was a good life experience for me and I'll miss the sushi, my new friends, and all the pretty mountains that surround my apartment, but we do not make a good combination.  I'll have to come back and visit every once and a while to visit my BE girls and my new friends...perhaps even the mountains.  While I do not particularly wish to move back in with my parents, the deal was that until Caylin moves out, I stay at home and then I will live with her.  I know, I know...yes this is something I have bitched about at great length before.  However, my reasoning is thus...living with a friend did not work.  I don't even talk to Adam and he is living in the same freaking apartment as I am.  I knew going into this that I would very likely lose a friend, but I honestly didn't mind all that much.  That seems cold and heartless, I know, but you try living with him.  He's a social pariah!  However, if I live with my sister, I can't actually lose her, we're stuck together for life, plus we always fight and then make up.  She didn't talk to me for about a month and a half after I moved here.  I think she was pissed at me for abandoning her with the parental units to another city unlike her move a few miles away.  If I live with Caylin, yeah, we'll fight and we'll probably beat the crap out of each other on a monthly if not weekly basis, but we will always have each others backs when it matters, though I might as well laminate that damn V-card now...then we could just hang it on the wall next to my bed my the machete.

It has gotten to the point where I am so unhappy living down here that I don't even care about school anymore.  ME!  Not care about school?! I just stopped going to one class and I didn't even drop it...that's not going to look good on the transcripts, but I can't seem to care.  The other two classes I have on campus, I ditch periodically just because I don't feel like going.  Really?!  I'm that girl now?!  I love my apartment, but I would love it more if it were a one bedroom with the same amount for rent.  Living on my own is great other than the fact that it's making me fat.  I am so much more active at home than I am here.  I did just get myself some of the Reebok Easy Tones and I love those, though I don't go for walks, I just wear them to classes.  I do want to start working out more, but I don't have anyone to go with and that makes me not want to do it at all.  I need someone to push me, but I refuse to diet, so just hold your breath on that one.

Hmmm...I guess that just about covers everything.  I feel better now that I've actually written something.  I promise, I'll post Ben's message tomorrow.  Loves to you!!