16

Well I just made a huge mistake.  I just looked at you know who's facebook.  He has apparently found someone else.  I don't know why I expect anything less.  He doesn't talk to me anymore.  I doubt the ass even thinks of me.  OH MY GOODNESS!!!  He makes me so angry!!!!  I make me so angry!  Why can't I just get over the jack ass?!  I don't understand what exactly is holding me to him.  All he ever does in break my heart!  I need to let him go and I need to move on!  I don't know how much more of this I can take!  Sure, I love him, very much, but no love is worth this much pain.  I need it to end.  Hopefully, I will be able to make it till August when I move away.  I don't know what will happen if I can't.  I am officially refusing to talk to him.  I will no longer look at his facebook profile.  I can't take any more of this pain.  I am barely holding back the damn tears as it is.  I don't know what to do any more.  I need to leave him behind.  I need to disconnect him from the love and obligation I feel for his family.  Just because I cannot have him in my life, or even deal with him in my life, does not mean that I cannot handle loving his family still.

In other news, I officially graduated from Scottsdale Community.  Graduation was on Friday.  It was actually quite fun.  My parents, sister, Genny, and Rachel all came to cheer me on.  It was really sweet.  I made friends with the guy who sat next to me; his name was Salvador, I think, and he graduated with a certificate of completion for the culinary college.  The ceremony itself took forever!  Salvador and I just spent the time making fun of the ridiculousness of it all.  It was obvious that all of us graduates just wanted the stupid ceremony to consist of us walking up on stage to get our diplomas and then to leave, but no.  The ceremony lasted, two to three hours.  It was ridiculous!  After the ceremony, I got to see some of my favorite teachers, Dr. Klobas and Dr. Larrey.  I cannot attempt to explain just how much I loved these teachers!!  They are totally amazing and both of them gave me huge hugs.  It was awesome!!!!  I just hope a few of the teachers at U of A can live up to the standards those two wonderful and inspiring teachers have set.

OH!!!  Adam and I have discovered that we both like to bowl!  We went on his birthday and then we went the night after graduation.  The latter occasion was Cap and Gown Bowling Night!  It was so much fun!  Granted, we only lasted one game with the caps and gowns, but still, we wore them!  Only Caylin didn't wear one...which was kind of a bummer, but that is Caylin.  I decided that the next time we go bowling, it will be pajama night!  Who doesn't like theme bowling with a bunch of friends?!  It is so much fun!  Yes, one arm and its corresponding leg hurts in the morning, but, like Mama always says, "no pain, no gain."

Hahahahahaha..."no pain, no gain".  I suppose that can be applied to the predicament I am undergoing with the man I love.  Interesting, that I would have put that statement in there without first realizing the correlation--sorry, random thought, these things happen.

That is all for now my loves.  As you can kind of see, I am actually having a pretty good life right now if you exclude him from your analysis.  In closing, some lyrics to a song I am in love with right now.

"Baby, I'm a fool who thinks it's cool to fall in love....Look me in the eye and tell me love is never based upon insanity....And I would never tell if you became a fool and fell in love."
-Melody Gardot "Baby I'm A Fool"