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Welcome to April my loves. I'm sorry it has been so long. I had another entry prepared last week, but my computer didn't want to have internet at my job. It was basically just a rant about getting fired from Ulta over something as silly as missed punches.

Don't get me wrong, I'm still not entirely thrilled with it, but I think it may have been the best thing for me. It has sort of acted as a catalyst for me to get off my ass and get my life moving in a direction...any direction. I felt like I was going nowhere, accomplishing nothing and that I would never do either because I was entirely too comfortable with my life. I needed something to shake me up and get me out of that comfort zone. Getting fired...well it worked! I finally applied to the University of Arizona and Arizona State. I just need to find a way to finance U of A. That would be my first choice. I feel like I need to get out of Scottsdale to make this all work.  I also think it will help me move on...relationship wise.  Everything here reminds me of him.  I want to go somewhere new, where things don't make me think of him.  I feel bad because my parents really want me to stay at home and live there while I go to school, but everything in me is screaming that I need to get out and live my own life.  I need to get out on my own.  I need to move forward with my life and I need to do it fairly soon!!!!!

In other news, I had a mini conversation with him via Facebook messages the other day.  It wasn't really a big deal or anything life altering, but it was good to see he hasn't totally cut me out of his life--not that such an extraction would ever be possible considering my  relationship with his entire immediate family.  The reason for this mini conversation was because I had a mini blip of a dream in which he got hit my a car.  Because of the intensity of this dream and its vividness, I sent him a message to see if he was alright.  He is.  He is apparently going to Baghdad in a week or so.

Also in other news...I have been introduced to "Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog" via Jamie at our first girl's night in her new place.  It is hilarious and I love it.  I also have the soundtrack on my iPod...making me a very happy panda!!!  I have also finally seen all of the High School Musical movies.  Not that this is exceptionally noteworthy, but alas, I have noted it.  Don't get me wrong, I doubt i would ever buy one of these movies, but they are strangely entertaining in a "Oh my goodness...why are they doing these dance moves?" kind of way.  I probably wouldn't change the channel if the movies came on, but I have always been weird--that's why people love me.  Hmmmmmmm...what else?

OOOOOOO....theoretical living arrangements for U of A.  Adam is now going to most likely be going to U of A with me.  Amber definitely is going.  However, Amber is going to be living with her boyfriend, Jeremy.  I am not his biggest fan.  I don't hate the guy, he seems nice, but I am definitely not cheering for a marriage in the future.  She can do so much better, but she doesn't seem to see that.  It is her life and I know I don't really have any business judging her relationship so harshly, but part of me wants to punch this guy in the throat.  Anyways...I kinda wanted to live with her, but if she is moving in with him...not so much.  I could live with Adam, but I don't know if I could handle the random reminders of his brother.  Part of my purpose for leaving Scottsdale is to get away from the constant reminders of him; how can I do that when living with his family?!  probably not a feasible plan.  But hey, I love Adam to bits and pieces.  He is my best friend and he knows me really well.  I can even have a semi-comfortable conversation with him about his little brother now.  I will be sad to leave my parents and I won't get to see my other best friend nearly as much, but I think it will be worth it in the end.

Well...I think that is all I have to say for now.  Oh!  Also, I have been wondering lately why guys seem to  never realize that when the girl they love runs away (emotionally or physically) that on some level, she really wants him to chase after her.  It has been depicted in almost all television shows and romantic movies--comedy or otherwise.  Why can't the men folk just pull their heads out of their butts and get it together.  Generally speaking, she loves him too, but she is utterly terrified!  Go get her boys, she needs you to fight!  Or, you could both live with broken hearts and never know what could have been...what would have been.